The Path of Least Resistance
I moved from Alabama to New York City with notions of a [writing] career and an appetite for downtown French bistros and charming, angular men. Also, I refused to accept the path of least resistance for a well-bred Southern girl halfway into the third decade of her life: marriage and babies.
Last week, at a book event in Long Island, I read the above paragraph from my novel, stopped and let out a little, nervous laugh. I felt the need to acknowledge that, yes, I was wearing a wedding ring and that, yes, my husband was at home watching our baby girl.
“Okay! I’m 29 years-old, hitched and with a little bean at home! Does that make me less of an ARTISTE? Less of a liberated woman?!” I wanted to shout. “I didn’t take the easy way out–none of this was planned!” I continued in my head. “Things happened out of order. The baby came first. Then the proposal and elopement. Then we finally traded in the SoHo studio for something more ‘adult…’”
No one in the audience cares, I realize. These are my own issues. For whatever reason, part of me feels like I’ve lost some credibility as a modern, independent, New York woman now that I’m married, a mother… and happy.
But I’m being ridiculous. I’m not Susan Sontag. I write about food, sometimes I write about love. When there’s a pretty sunset over the Hudson, I’ll write about that too. And marriage and children by no means represent the path of least resistance.
The people in the folding chairs patiently wait for me to continue my reading. I wonder what’ll happen if I tell them that the “Belle in the Big Apple” days are over. I see the world differently now. And, really, the vantage point behind a stroller–or next to my husband–is far sweeter than anything I ever did alone.
“So, Jamie, Parker and I are thinking about setting up shop in Charleston…”
They nod and smile and still seem interested.
August 27th, 2009 at 8:32 am
What a great post! My favorite yet. I think I feel a tear welping up. You didn’t choose the path, it chose you! And, if anything it makes you that more strong, wise, and sexy! Your readers/fans are watching you bloom. What amazing surprises life had in store for you. I envy your time in NY and your amazing career. If anything, I am more impressed that you are a married mommy/diva of dining!
Loren Wood
August 27th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Hi friend. Saw this posting on FB and just read it. It’s beautiful Brooke…and of course you’re going to move on from Belle. That was the wisdom you gained in that part of your life, and now you’re in a new chapter so you’ll need new tools. But I hear you about the worry/etc. of losing credibility. I worry about those things too as I tiptoe into dating again. We’re creating WOMAN in a new way now. Thank you for your honesty and keep writing out your feelings and experiences. It’s all gooooooood, as they say here in Texas…or Brooklyn….or everywhere.
Much love and light
Amy
August 27th, 2009 at 10:46 am
Your Belle in the Big Apple Days aren’t over… they just include a baby-belle and a … ok, Im at a loss for a cute analogy for James. And anyone who’s read the book wouldn’t expect you to stay like those first months anyway! I’m with Loren, its even more impressive that you are still the sexy city belle with a great husband, an adorable baby, and you still have your sanity!
August 27th, 2009 at 10:50 am
Belle — this is some of your best writing to date. You’ve captured your experience simply and perfectly, and you are communicating something that is very real to many women. Perhaps it’s because I’ve got my own little 10 month bean at home and another surprise on the way. Motherhood has only further committed me to my own creative goals — and presented me with a new perspective that I never thought I would enjoy so much.
August 27th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
If marriage and family is the “path of least resistance” then I’m doing something wrong because I’m resisted everywhere I turn in my house!
August 28th, 2009 at 6:49 am
happy and healthy-isn’t that what its all about?
August 28th, 2009 at 7:29 am
Having been a “single girl in the city” for a little while, and then moved into a serious and wonderful relationship (still in the city) I’ve come to realize that things do change, but if the relationship is right, the change is most certainly for the better. Being single was fun for a time, but it doesn’t make you more independent. It just is a stage I think, nothing more.
August 31st, 2009 at 4:16 pm
Brooke, as one who is still in her “Belle” days – 24 and single and surrounded by girl friends and trying desperately to launch my own writing career – I can only tell you how much I envy the stability and success and happiness that you have found with J and P. Your years as a solo media maven have paid off with the prize of experience and without them, you may never have been able to so fully appreciate all that you have now. Same path, different scenery and obstacles, but no less challenging or rewarding. I cannot wait for the days when I get a ring on the left hand and a babe on my hip, but until then I’ll try to have as many crazy nights out and lost, lonely afternoons as I can – perhaps enough for the both of us.