Difficult Easy Joy
I want to be the 2 year-old at the birthday party (like my niece, pictured left). That time when not enough chocolate icing warrants a tantrum and joy comes easy. Life is a simplified, play date version of itself.
Now? Work. Work. Work. The personal, the professional, the mundane require near superhuman efforts just to receive a passing grade. I remember how I longed for a difficult, city, adult life for so long. Well, I got it. In spades. Now, I want to go back and I can’t—none of us can. Mom sold my Archie Comics and Dad sold my childhood home by the bay. Press forward…
This morning, just as I start to feel unjustifiably melancholy about my too adult life, I read the best little New York Times “Modern Love” piece that’s ever rolled off the presses. ( “A Signal in the Sky Said: Marry Her” )
Ben Karlin, the author, love seeker and serial monogamist, talks about work in the context of love but his musings apply to everything in my life and yours.
“Moments of pure beauty, I realized, are not handed out like a free newspaper as you dash into the subway. You have to make them. Work for them. Sometimes, it’s a huge pain and you don’t know how or when they are going to happen. But it is flat-out wrong to expect them.”
Maybe I’m not crazy—or a complete Type A New Yorker—for working so hard for everything in my life, I think. Karlin continues.
“…life…had to be cultivated, curated, fussed over. Then came the bliss, in arrhythmic spasms.”
Ben Karlin, if you weren’t married to your gorgeous Italian, Paola, I might make you mine. Until then, keep writing and giving me hope.
March 10th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Oh! That face. So adorable, so funny.
March 12th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Think the other way, by the time that little girl grows up, to be the same age as your are now you’ll be the one giving advise to her on life matters from your comfartable rocking chair sitting next to the fire place reading your 15th edition of your cookbooks of course there are many.
Sorry, I also have a niece, and a nephew and do feel the same way sometimes. But kindergartens and schools are thougher this days. These kids go hungry just to be cool, and won’t eat the Free lunch provided by the Goverment, not because it’s taste is probably horrible because it’s uncool. People are dying of hunger, other parts of the world, but they only care about being cool. I don’t know which one is easier, high shool, or adult life-
Good Luck with your book.
March 13th, 2008 at 6:46 am
I think you were dead on about the modern love article and i am very surprised that you did not receive a ton of comments agreeing with you on that. i often share your insights! keep it up!
March 14th, 2008 at 6:31 am
in the family, we call Shelby’s expression, “Shelby’s look of consternation.” ha! she’s too much.
March 18th, 2008 at 8:25 am
She looks like she might grow up to be a heartbreaker! Tee hee. Isn’t it awesome how dramatic little kids’ expressions can be?
March 21st, 2008 at 7:38 am
Oh, my gosh–I see Suzanne in her for some reason! I can’t wait for us all to be together in July!