Apr
21

Liberte’, Egalite’, FIDELITE’?

French women fascinate me. The freshness of their chevre is just as important—if not more so—than the fidelity of their husbands. The women are utterly precise with their appearances, casual with their sexual affairs. I can’t quite decide if I admire these sexual libertines or pity their lack of judgment…

I once wrote that my Granddaddy had a way of presenting the modern-day, American South as if it were 19th century Gallic society—albeit a bastardized version.

“For Granddaddy, it wasn’t just the pace of life or rhythm of speech, but the social structure. Money wasn’t so much earned as it was maintained in estates and property. Staying in his good graces would be far more lucrative than chasing a Northern dream…”
Naturally, this Dixie laissez-faire attitude would transfer over into the sexual, the social—like their French counterparts, right? Wrong.

In general (in general, for those of you ornery blog readers), Southern women are fiercely protective of their partners and husbands. I’d venture to say that equal time is spent loving them as is spent watching their every move, searching for clues of infidelity and betrayal. What a waste. But, yet, I can’t seem to resolve these two sides of my heart. A little play was necessary…

With $10 in hand, I walked my Southern sensibility and Francophile proclivities to see the French movie, “Nathalie.” Bernard (Gerard Depardieu) cheats on his wife, Catherine (Fanny Ardent), and offers no explanation other than, “One day it dies.” Of course, he’s referring to marital passion, not the desire to have a perfectly executed 4-course French meal on the table night after night. Catherine very coolly accepts the blame for his infidelity and sets out to find a hooker who will report back to her and, in detail, describe what Bernard likes in bed, what his darkest and dirtiest sexual practices are when the other woman isn’t wearing a wedding band. I won’t spoil the end of the movie because I think each and every one of you –married, committed or otherwise—should go see it.

I left the theatre and did my usual walk down Broadway, past the imposing brownstones and the patisserie gems in the window of “Le Pain Quotidien.” Finally I reached the north side of Washington Square Park and walked through it’s own Arch de Triomphe. France in New York. A Southerner in the City. I suddenly realized that I did’t have to ascribe my beliefs to one side or another. That’s the beauty of my chosen home, the Big Apple. I can take the best of all my influencing worlds and begin to form my own system of beliefs. Elementary, really, this sudden thought that seemed so brilliant at the time. But, just as it came to me all at once, it made me quite happy.

Next time Chef and I are enjoying tartare et frites and escargots at “Balthazar,” I’ll tie on a silk scarf (tres, tres parisienne, mes petits), keep a cool watch over my love and our surroundings and ever so subtly keep a warm hand on his cuisse

How French. How Southern. How South-of-Houston.


14 Responses to “Liberte’, Egalite’, FIDELITE’?”

  1. 1 Tonya Says:

    Linkage and Love at You can’t keep a good woman down

  2. 2 Bebe Valentine Says:

    Brilliant. You have captured the emotions that many southern women feel…

  3. 3 Sarah Says:

    Belle, I’m looking for a study break. May I ask where you caught this showing? I can’t find any links to showtimes on Yahoo.

  4. 4 Mimi in NY Says:

    Village Cinema, just off Broadway and 12th?

    I saw that film with a guy. He turned around to me and said ‘it doesn’t make sense, there’s no explanation of why the wife would do that’. I sputtered into my lychee martini and said, ‘it makes perfect sense’. Such a french film. We are all fascinated with sex and hookers and infidelity and psychologically torturing ourselves…

    But why did Emmanuelle Beart do that to her lips?

  5. 5 K Says:

    Oh the trout pouts have gotten bad lately, here and abroad, but those French women will always be fiery sirens.

    Well written post, Belle.

  6. 6 Belle Says:

    sarah– the theatre is on 12th street (next to one of my favorite restaurants in the city, “gotham bar and grill”) between 5th and university.

    this would be one hell of a study break!

  7. 7 D.T. Says:

    That’s what I like about growing up. How we can take our childhood beliefs and incorporate them with the knowledge we learn from living life.

    I’m so gonna have to see that film…

  8. 8 Spicy Law Girl Says:

    Ahhh sounds like a good one :) I love it. Pop by my blog sometime. I found yours last fall, and have been a regular reader. We’re both living in NY and originally from the gulf coast with such different experiences :)

  9. 9 happymeal8 Says:

    In general, I must disagree with your take on Southern women and their innate jealousy over their men-folk. Traditionally, we may have treated marriage more gravely than our sisters in the rest of America. This, due in part to deep-rooted cultural tradition and religious influence. However, I take umbrage at the the fawning, yet psycho-esque, stereotype of the Southern woman. That really is an old-guard mentality, certainly it was my grandmother (minus the jealousy), to a MUCH lesser degree, my mother, and what you are left with is the current generation of hell-on-wheels southern women who live on their own terms, and have graduated to the modern world.

    That being said, I need to find that little silk scarf I picked up in Amsterdam and haven’t worn in 3 years. Thanks for reminding me!

  10. 10 Catalicious Says:

    Ok, pardon my lack of french, but what does cuisse mean? or at least point me to a translation site, b/c i haven’t found one on my own.

    Oh, and passion can end on both sides and both sides can get jealous. I just don’t believe a man would hire a male hooker to find out what his wife wants. Women can be so much smarter about these things if they can keep a level head.

    Cat

  11. 11 Catalicious Says:

    OK, nevermind about the translation. Didn’t know you were into armor Belle.

  12. 12 Jenn Says:

    I see where Southern women are a bit territorial over their men. Southern gentlemen are rare. They are strong and chivalrous. They cultivate the drawl as well as we do. And yet, the poor dears would be lost without us strong Southern women pushing and supporting them!

    A friend of mine up North said I, as a woman friend, am more supportive and encouraging of him than his girlfriend. I push him to achieve his goals, and offer support, no matter his decisions. He thinks it’s a Southern thing. After reading this post and reflecting, I’m likely to agree with him.

  13. 13 JamiDru Says:

    Been a regular reader… this is one of my favorites thus far! …. beautifully expressed.

  14. 14 Faith Says:

    I reside on the state line by Wheeling, WV. We’re in the Appalachian foothills and have the same protectiveness about our men too.

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