NY Post: Gourmet Gal Gets the Guys
Pate de foie gras. Fettucine al tartufo bianco. Kobe beef tartare.
Exquisite food. I love it. I just can’t afford it. What’s a girl to do?
A) Date a Chef (more on that later)
B) Study the culinary guidebooks of Alain Ducasse, Pierre Troisgos, then scrape together enough money to buy miniscule portions of the exorbitantly priced ingredients. Finally, attempt to recreate their gustatory masterpieces… in my mouse-friendly studio apartment.
C) Smile, angle my gaze, slip on high heels, twist my long, blonde hair into an elegant chignon…and make the nearest investment banker buy that dinner for me.
I’m a woman that will stop at nothing–except for the bedroom–for a fine meal. Am I a tease, a tyrant, a gourmet slut? Nah. My charm, wit and attentive laugh are more than fair pay for the Osetra caviar and Dom Perignon. As I am quoted in today’s New York Post, “Women used to feel like they had to give something in exchange, whereas now I’m perfectly confident that my company is enough.” Moreover, “Men are always saying, ‘This is just sex.’ Well, this is just dinner–I don’t feel sorry for them.”
That’s right–I’ll be your date, your sugar and spice and everything nice just as long as you pick up the tab. Well, that is, until you corner me in the taxi, trap me outside the apartment door. Then the sweet turns sour and slowly to steel… In you gentlemen’s hormonal rage, please do not
forget–I’m a Southern belle with a backbone.
I’m also currently–desperately, madly– in love. Chef/Southern Boy (as he’s known to my loyal readers) sears a mean foie gras. He’s my new modus operandus for eating well. As I said to the Post, “It’s kind of ironic, a reformed dinner whore dating a chef.”
If y’all live in the New York area, go out and buy a New York Post. The aforementioned article is featured today in the Entertainment Section!
January 12th, 2006 at 8:43 am
and we get to see what you really look like!
January 12th, 2006 at 12:43 pm
Terrific! You’re no longer an anonymous blogger…How’s that feel?
January 12th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Fab! I knew I had seen you somewhere, I saw a couple of pictures from you at Random House I think it was. Stunning.
I never thought I’d envy a chef.
January 12th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
he is cute… u r gorgeous i wish i had my own personal chef… it will b cheaper than moving 2 paris n goin 2 lcb ;o)
January 12th, 2006 at 5:28 pm
You look extremely happy with Southern Boy. You both have the “glow” of love…
Congrat’s on having your own chef, mine even does the shopping.
January 12th, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Has anyone ever told you…..you look a bit like Nicole Kidman?
January 12th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
I forwarded the article along to some college girlfriends. Back in those days, we jokingly called ourselves “air conditioning whores”… for those nights on campus during summer classes when we just needed some A/C and knew of just the guy to provide it for the night…!
January 12th, 2006 at 5:37 pm
People like you make me so bitter and angry. I can barely afford a scone and nobody takes me anywhere. I feel so dirty, poor, and pathetic as I see the glowing photos of your overwhelming beauty.
I think I will watch Fight Club again and cry myself to sleep, then join the Republican Party and roll back women’s rights. You inspire me to donate money to conservative causes because your success only exacerbates my failure.
January 12th, 2006 at 8:19 pm
No need to be bitter, Ark. If you really think what you need is a whore but you can’t afford it, it’s no problem. Remember: whores aren’t sophisticated, they just want you to pretend along with them. That’s the game. Being a real person will result in a 404 error.
Here’s what you do: make dinner at home. Serve possum, rattlesnake and hunch punch (Kool Aid and grain alcohol mixed in a garbage can). Wear a tuxedo and give everything a French (or Italian) name (the food, the “wine,” your penis… everything). Talk about your just-completed business deal. Say you wish you could shut up but you’re too excited about all the money.
Kick her out in the morning (and don’t bother feeling sorry for her; she’s going to spend the next night with someone you’d think is an asshole. Let him worry about it).
January 12th, 2006 at 10:33 pm
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
January 13th, 2006 at 9:15 am
Brooke! I’m so inspired by you! I remember reading your pitch letter for your book on the last night of our Gotham Writer’s class with Peter Selgin. Read about you in the Post yesterday and my jaw dropped! You did it!!!! How weird is it that I had to create a blog to post a comment to you! Hope we can catch up sometime–
–Hillary K. (had the story about a robot, etc.)
hillary_kaylor@yahoo.com
January 13th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Wow, you are the most class-less person I’ve encountered all day! Talk about tacky…
January 13th, 2006 at 11:52 am
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
January 13th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Yes, I can write and delete as I please. It’s my blog, thank you very much.
January 13th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
nyc or not, once white trash, always white trash!
January 13th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
hope for your sake things work out with the chef since you’ll never get a date in this town again! ha!
January 18th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
Nice to see a former Pensacolian make her mark on my ole home town.
GO BROOKE!!! We’re all smilin and chuckling to ourselves down here. Cash that check ASAP.
January 19th, 2006 at 7:42 am
It goes without saying, of course, that people like Ashleigh are just bitter jealous cows who cant handle the fact that you’re going to be famous and they…well….never are.
Also, any chance you’d be willing to post the pitch letter a commenter mentioned….you know like Nicholas Sparks and other authors have done on their sites?? Just wondering.