Holding Pattern
Static.
Circular.
Awaiting clearance.
I’m in a holding pattern.
There are worse things, trust me, I know. Long, leisurely mornings w. coffee and the Times, noontime walks around Gramercy, Juilliard concerts in late afternoon, dinner and a bottle of Cabernet w. the neighbors on my terrace. I’m enjoying the details of fall in the city that most New Yorkers are too busy to notice. Halloween Day I was able to stroll around the city—“un flaneur” the French would call me—with no destination in mind. My sole purpose was to take in the costumes, the smells, collect autumn leaves (the virgin leaves—the ones yet to be trampled by excited, sugar-crazed eight year-olds)…
But, I’m ready for the next challenge. I want this period of wait to be over, to hear the good and the bad news and then move on w. my life. Make your decision—swift and decisive!—and let’s move forward. This plane needs to land at La Guardia so I can check all that baggage and make a new life for myself in the city.
November 2nd, 2005 at 11:27 am
It’s called liminal times. Like when you’re engaged - where you’re not single, but not married either. Or when you’re pregnant - where you’re not a mother, but not childless either.
Enjoy it and give birth to something spectacular.
November 2nd, 2005 at 11:47 am
I hope you get the answer you hope for. And, all your dreams come true.
November 2nd, 2005 at 2:06 pm
i hate waiting. its fucking horrible. i’ve been waiitng for nearly a year now.
November 2nd, 2005 at 4:38 pm
I guess the only thing I can offer is that no matter what decision is made, that is the plan that God has for your life..and to accept it, even if it’s not the one you want. I wish you luck that you get the news you want.
November 2nd, 2005 at 7:12 pm
hey i like wat u wrote
check mine out at arzenex.blogspot.com
November 2nd, 2005 at 11:09 pm
Uh oh. Diggin’ this post (not). far too close to home. Let’s hope we can both come up with something the same day and validate this stasis. I need some fucking validity for this 8 months of shit.
November 3rd, 2005 at 8:22 am
I know all too well what you are going through.
November 3rd, 2005 at 8:58 am
You have described my life to a “T”. Thanks for putting it into words
November 3rd, 2005 at 9:54 am
It never ceases to amaze me how we can all be thinking of such totally different things, yet have the same feelings of anticipation/frustration…
Anyway, this holding pattern is getting old.
November 3rd, 2005 at 10:05 am
why do you think I went to back to school?
November 3rd, 2005 at 10:37 am
Like Piu piu, I’ve been waiting for a year as well. I hate it. Still no job. Just lost the nicest guy. Feeling unwanted all ’round.
Liminal, that’s me.
November 3rd, 2005 at 11:43 am
Hey Belle, I believe we are the same age and at times I feel the same way as you. I like to call it an “Early Life Crisis.” Just keep working at the things you care about most and suddenly the things you did care about you won’t care so much about! Mimi told me to leave you a post about writing for Amore. Just send me an e-mail and I can fill you in on all the details. I would love to be able to work with you. Cheers, Laurent lgilbert@amoremag.com