Writing, writing, writing… to relieve the pressure on my heart, and conscience.
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What kind of bat is your conscience beating you with? What kind of vice grip has it got you in? Is it trying to tell you there’s something wrong with you, or that your future is somehow in jeopardy?
And are you sure it’s your conscience, and not just your mind on some self-make-wrong trip?
I always ask my conscience for ID. And if it can’t lighten up and prove its heart provenance, I usually tell it to go away and come back when it’s ready to have a conversation.
I hope you’ll cut yourself whatever break you need, and then do whatever needs doing to rectify whatever needs rectifying. You may be guilty as sin, but even sin is just something that happened.
And if this is all presumption and doesn’t pertain to you…. well, hopefully someone who needs it today will find it.
I understand. I’m not sure what I was responding to, actually. I guess I was making a lot of assumptions — assuming that you were feeling plagued by regret over something, beating yourself up, etc… I was curious to know what your conscience was feeling “pressure” about, I guess.
But what I wrote, ostensibly directed at you, was me talking to and about me. Sorry for the preachy tone that resulted, and I see that I added a whole lot of stuff that you weren’t saying, so I’m sorry for that too.
I write for similar reasons, of course: to get out what’s in, to make space, and also to share my internal experience with others so that we all feel less alone, which is important from time to time…
October 2nd, 2005 at 10:22 am
Wha’ happened?
What kind of bat is your conscience beating you with? What kind of vice grip has it got you in? Is it trying to tell you there’s something wrong with you, or that your future is somehow in jeopardy?
And are you sure it’s your conscience, and not just your mind on some self-make-wrong trip?
I always ask my conscience for ID. And if it can’t lighten up and prove its heart provenance, I usually tell it to go away and come back when it’s ready to have a conversation.
I hope you’ll cut yourself whatever break you need, and then do whatever needs doing to rectify whatever needs rectifying. You may be guilty as sin, but even sin is just something that happened.
And if this is all presumption and doesn’t pertain to you…. well, hopefully someone who needs it today will find it.
Thanks for the space.
Daniel
danielmate.blogspot.com
October 2nd, 2005 at 11:09 am
Writing is a cathartic experience for me (and the majority of the thinking, introspective world).
That’s what I’m saying. No more, no less.
October 2nd, 2005 at 5:45 pm
Loved your blog. Very insightful. You are right-on about writing. I blog for the same reason. Bob!
October 2nd, 2005 at 8:28 pm
I understand. I’m not sure what I was responding to, actually. I guess I was making a lot of assumptions — assuming that you were feeling plagued by regret over something, beating yourself up, etc… I was curious to know what your conscience was feeling “pressure” about, I guess.
But what I wrote, ostensibly directed at you, was me talking to and about me. Sorry for the preachy tone that resulted, and I see that I added a whole lot of stuff that you weren’t saying, so I’m sorry for that too.
I write for similar reasons, of course: to get out what’s in, to make space, and also to share my internal experience with others so that we all feel less alone, which is important from time to time…
October 2nd, 2005 at 8:39 pm
Belle, a question about Gotham Writers: I’m assuming you attended in NYC, but do you know of others who’d recommend the online courses?
Thanks