Concessions
I’m alone with my thoughts, a Pacino film, a plate of gorgeous, roasted peppers, a hunk of Manchego, a glass of Spanish rose’. I’m not wearing two coats of mascara or a hint of perfume; my neck smells of nothing more than Dial soap. My face is bare, exposed—the shoulder-length blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail. Tonight, I didn’t worry about purses and panty lines and lipstick on my teeth. The white tank and terry cloth slippers suit my couch just fine—
Two mice just darted across the kitchen floor, ducked into the radiator.
Never had to worry about those down South… but, it’s all a trade-off, right? I’ll take a mouse or two if I can keep my foreign film theatres, fresh ravioli store, gilded reading room at the 42nd Street library, off-Broadway plays, run-ins with Benjamin Bratt in Union Square, wine bars on Clinton Street, midnight writing classes, evenings on my terrace with quirky neighbors.
Tradeoffs, tradeoffs, tradeoffs…is this what adult life is all about? Is “having it all” a myth concocted by Hollywood? When I was in high school, I would run down to the bay, stare across the dark brown water until it reached the green of the Gulf. I told myself that I would do it all, have it all. There was the journalism career, wealthy husband, apartments in Paris and Rome, famous friends… the list went on and on.
Mamma made concessions. She quit a successful career in journalism to take care of four kids—me, my two sisters, my father. She left her typewriter (yes, back then they used typewriters) for the stove, the washing machine, the neighborhood bake sale in July. No more trips to her favorite castle in Ireland or to the tapas bars of Madrid. The life she knew ended so her family’s life could begin. I vowed that I would never give up anything (Me! Me! Me!); “compromise” was not in my vocabulary.
Now, I concede more. Instead of a helicopter out to the Hamptons, I take a commuter plane back down South for a slow weekend of dinners by the lake, babies, walks around the farm. I have a five o’clock toddy with my grandparents instead of champagne with the Italians at “Da Silvano.” I visit Southern Boy in Birmingham instead of telling him to come to the City. Is this growing up or am I on the slippery slope to forgetting about me and remembering the needs of everyone else?
September 15th, 2005 at 10:05 am
mice are your friends!
okay. not really.
September 15th, 2005 at 10:10 am
Good god, how do you have the money to turn up in NY and live a Stephanie Klein life from day one? Is this a parody like the Tale of two Sisters and my sarcasm radar has just disintegrated after 7 months of over-exposure to yanks?
September 15th, 2005 at 10:16 am
I hate to admit it to myself, but you’re right - compromise becomes necessity the older we get.
From one Southern chic to another - rock on in the big city!
September 15th, 2005 at 10:20 am
i like you comentary. so simple and easy to relate to
September 15th, 2005 at 10:21 am
Awww, Ms. Mimi… don’t be mean! I love YOUR blog.
And, please, don’t compare me with Stephanie Klein. There’s nary a snapshot of me on the entire site.
September 15th, 2005 at 10:34 am
I just found you. What a treat! Can’t wait to read more.
September 15th, 2005 at 10:43 am
Again, very interesting and true. North and South are truly different, but both exceptional.
September 15th, 2005 at 10:47 am
Well, I’m glad you like it, because I hate it at the moment. My blog I mean. I can’t wait for my visa and a normal life as I’m sick of waving my bare bottom around or staring dully at my computer screen waiting for a social life I can afford. I’m in a very foul mood and totally jealous of everyone who has a normal life at the moment! Ignore my bitchiness. I think a few photos are allowed, just not into the four figure mark or you may well be in danger of Stephanizing.
September 15th, 2005 at 10:48 am
Just found your blog by pure chance - and I’m very impressed. I love it, and I’ll be back.
September 15th, 2005 at 10:54 am
I like your blog - and having had a quick scan you seem very (together and fortuate. You clearly enjoy the glitter of NY and are well-grounded. Be careful, now, you’re at a stage where you will be making some important choices - don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater. Sorry to get heavy - I need to lighten up, I know. I’m just a ‘temp’ in all of this myself.
NY is certainly the place to be for a budding writer like yourself - but the key is to walk with care. Most of those shiny things only bring misery.
I also like Mimi’s site - she had me worried for a second - I thought I’d been had. You seem real.
Peace and ‘prosperity’.
September 15th, 2005 at 11:01 am
Im compromising now and im only 19! I thought i was supposed to live my life til i turn 30 but now im feeling 30 so i guess that’s about right.
September 15th, 2005 at 11:15 am
You’re ‘evening without accessories’ sounded very attractive. All except the mice.
As for compromise, I tend to think of it more in terms of priorities. Even the Christie Turlington’s can’t do everything, even with the abundance of resources they have. For the rest of us it can mean having to decide between family, career, etc……… priorities.
It comes down to, “What do I want right now?” and “What do I want to leave at the end of my life?”
But you sound like a rather intelligent young woman. You already know all this.
Anyway, enjoyed the read. You write well and have an enticing mix of the ordinary and the fascinating.
September 15th, 2005 at 11:18 am
New York…the most excited I’ve ever felt by just being in a city … I just walked every day for hours, for two weeks …and It was one of the coldest winters on record …but I didn’t care about the pink earmuffs that I bought from a street trader…Great blog…I’ll definitely be back….
September 15th, 2005 at 12:28 pm
. . . there are many similarities between your posts and Stephanie Klein’s. That’s not so bad. Her formula certainly seems very marketable and likeable. From what I can gather she has a huge flock of fans. I actually feel sorry for her - she may be egocentric and self-absored but I guess that’s the nature of blogging. She has come under real fire recently. People started to sit up and notice and criticise when she got the book deal. I hope Stephanie is taking the higher ground although I did hear she was adopting a scortched earth in response to some of the criticism.
Keep up the good work, Belle, I hope you fall in love with a penniless vagrant like me. That way you’re sure to have an interesting life. A bit of dumpster diving (ughh - god forbid) will knock the corners of you. Keep it up.
September 15th, 2005 at 1:29 pm
I love NYC (although I’m Swedish and never set foot in the US) and you write beautifully about the city and your life there. I’ll be back!
September 15th, 2005 at 1:43 pm
i just happened upon your blog.
i love what i have read so far, and so far its only been this post, but i am going back for more.
dont worry, as you get older you quit the concessions. “you move less, and observe more”. i love being older. and much much wiser.
September 15th, 2005 at 2:30 pm
bar piti is better than da silvano anyway. and a fraction of the price. if you don’t believe me, ask benjamin bratt. he, his wife and baby are regulars.
personally, I would luv to see a photo or 2.
September 15th, 2005 at 4:00 pm
I am so very glad I read your blog. Cheered my night, in my quiet english village, right up
Lil Fi
September 16th, 2005 at 11:54 am
Well done. It’s good to know that I’m not the only 25 year old with a Journalism degree who isn’t really sure about anything. I feel you on the lakes though. I live in WV and even though I make frequent trips to Pittsburgh, there’s nothing like sitting by the water and doing…noting. Thanks
September 17th, 2005 at 10:01 am
lovely post & lovely food (love roasted pepers and Manchego cheese)
September 20th, 2005 at 2:08 pm
Wouldn’t “choices” better describe your post? We all make choices. I wonder if your mother took up writing again? Perhaps her writing lives on in you.
As I sit here with a few minutes while my 1 year old sleeps, I can make a comment about choices. You have a unique opportunity to experience much before you really experience what life is truly all about. Creating in creation’s truest form: a baby!
Watching my baby (and the clock, so as not to forget to pick up the 6 year old) life is explained. The happiness in simple pleasures. The selfish immaturity. The couriosity in the not so obvious, yet interesting objects, faces, sounds all around.
You tell a great story. I enjoy the PG rated posts over the “sex in the city” posts. You have a talent that mixes well with the blogosphere. Good Luck to you.
September 30th, 2005 at 2:00 pm
I share your sentiments. You’ve got a great writing style. I accidentally came across your blog an hour ago and I’m already looking forward to your next post.